13 REASONS WHY I SHIT MY PANTS
by THEARTIST321
Summary: This is my diary for the reasons why I defecate in my pantaloons. Enjoy.


**Reason Number 1:**

A lot of fucking people fucking tell me that I shouldn't fucking shit my fucking pants. Well, there fucking wrong. I love taking musky, filthy, disagreeable, smelly, poopy, SHITS in my fucking pants. A lot of people call me gay and i dont like that. So i shove my fiucking fist up my anus and pull the still developing shits out of my fucking bowel s and throw them at all the faggots that call me a faggot.

 **Reason Number 2:**

Last night I found a baby owl in the attic of my house. I clubbed it to death with a brick and brought it down to my room and used it as a flesh light.

 **Reason Number 3:**

I woke up this morning and i felt a lil toot coming on. So i clenched my asshol and i growled and tried 2 force it out of my booty. It aint come out. I was a lil frustrated and i tried squeezin harder. Didnt fuckin work. WTF i tought. Why aint this tooty cummin out? I smaked my booty around in orger to get the juices flowing and the gasses going a little bit. Didnt. Fuckin. Work. come on you sombitch. Get outta fuck there. I cursed the stock market gods. Get out of me. I sat down and cried a little bit. But it did not take away the pain of the tootie still stuck up my butt. Come on dude. I clenched and squeezed one more time! And i accidentlayy shit my jpants. The wet turmoil in my undeez stank up my room bad. Wft. all of the sudden, my daddy nkocked on the door. And he said. "Hey wtf is that smeel? Shitnigger? Said my daddiey. You better not have shited your =ants again!? Oh you did did you? Said my dadddy.

"Sowwy daddy. Pwease have mewcy on me…" i whisperd. He busted into my room and ripped my pants off and he cleaned off my ass with his nine inch toungue. He licked my clean and then kicked my ass with his bbelt. HAVE SOME SOUTHWESTERN COMFORT, FAGGOT! He screeched as he landed blow after blow with his leather blet. ID RATHER HAVE A SON WITH AUTISM THAN HAVE A SON WITH WHATEVER DISEASE YOU HAVE. screeched daddy as he stomped down on my two and a half inch cock. IF I HAD A CATTLE PROG THEN I WOULD BRAND MY BELT WITH YOURE TEERS BITCH SKREEECHD MY DADDY. I cried and pooped my pants again… and i still had to fart…

 **Reason Number 4:**

I gothe fuck to school and i ask the ladies to show my there tiddies. They dont. I go to school and ask the lunch ladies to show me there tiddies. And they dont. I wish i had tiddies. fuck.

 **Reason Number 5:**

Last night i smoke weed for le first time. I got so fucking fucked up that i thought that toad from super mario shat three tons of las angels sewage out his ass and dumped it down my nose. It then began squirtin out my but. Tode was wearin a big ol extra strength big nigga diapers and the poopies started bustin thru the sides of the dipey. He attemped to hold it all in by scrapin the poops back into the dipey but it was do use because he started contracting diseases from the poopies that touched his handz. His asshole rotted off from gangrene. It was then that i awake from my drug trip when i realized that toad was actually my dog who was shittin on tha floor and havin a seizure. I kicked the shit out of his seizing body because he made poopies all ovet the fuckin flor. h e just kept seizin even harder. What a little ho. I kciekd him harder, but it didnt work. Fuck it. I pulled down my pants and sodomized my dogs asshole while he was seizing HARDCORE. He then began vomitin. I scooped it up and i used the vomit as lube for my beastialty asshole slamming adventures. The doggo seized so fucking hard that his asshole fastened round my dike like a fucking vice grips. I couldnt get it out. I picked up the doggo while it was still on my dick and i tried slamming it againtst the door to try to get it to fall off. Come on you stupid shit. If i tired to ppull my dog off my cock, then it would surely tear off my whole dick. So i left it on.

 **Reason Number 6:**

I went to skool the next day with my seizing dogs asshole rapped around my weiner. A lot of people laffed. I put my middle finger up at them and called them fagz. It turns out that i accidentally called a gay gguy a fag and he beat the shit out of me. I cried.

 **Reason Number 7:**

Eventually my dog on my dick died and rotted off so that was pretty kewl. It took about a month tho. Cunt.

 **Reason Number 8:**

I thought I saw bigfoot after school today. I didnt. It was the lock ness monster and when i tried to pet him, he grabbd me under water and put his fifteen inch dong dong and skewered my i got away and i called the authorities and they went up to the lock neds monster and shot him. Justice does exist. I love the police department.

 **Reason Number 9:**

I got pulle d over today by a nice polise officer and he told me to get out of the car. He got in my car and pooped in it. He said thank you and drove away…

 **Reason Nubmer 10:**

I camed on the toilet seat today and it was cool. Then i went on the interenet and i met a guy in a chat room and called to catch a predator on him. Hahahahahahahaha. I am eigthteen yrs old. The person i called to catch a predator on waas six16teen. I got arrested.

 **Reason number 12:**

Why do i shit my pants? Because it feels good? Because it convenienct? Because i can? No. i do it because whenever i have to go to the bathroom, there is somebody in there alrady. What the fuck!1 cunt.

 **Reason Number 13:**

Goodbye wlord. Before i kys im going to go to the bathroom because i dont want to shit myslef when dead. Cunt.

THE ENd


End file.
